i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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