The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
