Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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