Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
