The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
