wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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