You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
