awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
