Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
