i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
