Swine flu. Run for my life!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize