His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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