He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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