Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize