separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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