The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i now understand why vodka
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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