Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
