So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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