Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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