oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
