Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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