Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
