I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize