We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
