worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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