shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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