he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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