woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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