Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
