she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
