P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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