Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
