He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cut my penus on the lid.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
