GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
