I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
