The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
