also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
