I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
