I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
