Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Your penis caused this!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
