I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want her autograph on my taint
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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