She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
