I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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