It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
