I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize