if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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