Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
