put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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