i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
