No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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