woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
whose parrot is this?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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