you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
