He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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