Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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