Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
