I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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