Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
