i need an iv and a liver transplant
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
