everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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